what love looks like

I am just so BLESSED. This guy makes me so happy, I could sing. But I won't.

You so wouldn't like it. He gets it though.

Love my man!

*Be My Baby- The Ronettes 

here's what I'm thinkin'

Is there anything you realize you say too often? Mark and I were sitting in Subway tonight and I was explaining the finer points of the universe to him when the following conversation took place:

Me: "Here's what I'm thinking:  I'll use recipes from different websites and get really creative. It's too bad I don't like to cook, or I would probably be a good one."

Him: " what you need to do is get all zannied up and get in the kitchen."

Me: "yeah, I'll get all zannied up and make a grocery list for you..."

Him: " it would probably be just a big list of movies and you would be all crossed eyed trying to explain to me why you gave me a list of movies as a stand in for the grocery list."

Me: "here's what I'm thinking.."

Him: "you know you say that a lot"

Me: "What?"

Him: "you always say, 'here's what I'm thinking', you  know?"

Me: "I do?"

Him: "yeah."

Me: "remind me of that when I get home."

Him: Why?

Me: " 'cause I'm gonna blog it."

Him: "Why?"

Me: "Because this conversation is too damn random and funny not to."

my kind of night

Me on the couch, him on the loveseat. 2 glasses of red, a fudgepop and a creampop. Dogs curled up snoozing and reruns of Weeds. Good stuff, man.


And I'm not even joking.

Completely Gratutitous

Now that I am in a better mood, I thought I would reflect on my past blog.. you know the one I am talking about. There are times in a person's life when talking things out isn't really enough- these are the times when I turn to my blog. I have always been a writer, of sorts. When I was little and my mom would get upset with me about something, I would write her an apology letter, because I hated that I had disappointed her. As an adult, I write Mark a letter sometimes for him to find before work. Writing makes me feel better, because I let my true feelings pour out. When talking to someone, sometimes I feel like I have to edit and try to be tactful. In a letter, I am more inclined to be blunt and harsh, and sometimes that is exactly what a person needs, whether or not the things they say are true, or just meant to hurt someone in that exact moment, sometimes a person just has to be that REAL.

In the exact moment I was writing my blog, there were a lot of things bothering me that I needed to let out. However, making the things that were bothering me public knowledge wasn't a good idea- because I was worrying over someones problems that were not my own, so the venting didn't really help me at all. The only things that have made me feel any better are the power of prayer, and talking to Mark. I am overcome by the compassion and heartfelt conversations he has given to me in the past few days. Today, my words fail me in thanking him. God made Mark's presence in my life nearly 10 years ago and fork in the road for me. We had never been more than friends, and one day I simply saw him in a different light. I chose the path that brought us closer together and the poor guy did too. For me, it's hard to imagine being anymore thankful to God for putting Mark in my life, but each day he shows me a new reason to love, cherish and adore him.

Today I am thankful, and putting it into words is what makes me feel good.

What a sap. Next thing you know I 'll be dotting my i's with hearts.

I really do love my husband so much. The picture to the right was taken on a drunken night in the G-burg (as we like to call it) and we took about 50 pictures being silly like this. I love the expression on Mark's face! The way he is looking at me with that- you are so silly but I love you anyway, face. I have to say how thankful I am for him though. I'm not sure if it is the way we are able to communicate with each other honestly, or be totally and completely ourselves around each other, but I can honestly say that my relationship with Mark is as close to perfect as I could imagine. Oh sure, we have our spats and arguments like anyone else does, but our rule is simple. We can't go to bed mad. Or sad. Or crying (me). Or bitching (both). Or silent (him). We always have to work it out and end things with an I love you. (I told you this was sappy!) Anyway, tonight I was unfortunately reminded that not all relationships are perfect. -Hell, I'm not saying mine is perfect, but what I do know is this: I am happy. He is happy. That's the thing that counts. And while it may seem like a no brainer, duh, Heather, YES, You are supposed to be happy in a relationship, that seems to slip our minds from time to time I think. Like when we get caught up in the trivial day to day stuff: house renovations, new puppies, job, money, bills, family and finances, that's when that little thought seems to slip away. I am bound and determined to hold onto that thought. Wrap myself around it. Which is why I chose to wrap the text around this photo. So that I won't forget. Honey, if you are reading this, I love you so much... but since I know you aren't I am going to go ahead and let the Internet in on one of your biggest secrets.... that you love me too. As much as I love you.... THAT makes me really happy. See above.