Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Pity Party Fail

Have you ever just had the kind of day where everything seems to be going the wrong way? That was yesterday for me. It started the night before when I went to bed. I laid down in my normal fashion. Snuggling up to my warm husband, already 3 hours ahead of me in sleep and pressed my cold feet into the back of his calves. Pure bliss. That man radiates the heat! I said my prayers, closed my eyes and waited for sleep to come. It did not. Instead, I began  thinking about all of the things in my life (or other peoples lives) that I wish I could change.

 I thought about my sweet grandmother in the nursing home. Have I mentioned she fell and broke her hip? Had to have surgery? Is now in a nursing home in Oak Ridge? No? Well, there it is. I thought about how weird it would be to have Thanksgiving in her house without her. From there, my mind started developing plans for how we could get her home to eat and visit..but then, I'll bet she would be sad to have to go back afterwards...Should we just take Thanksgiving to her? Those thoughts rambled and rolled around for a while. I thought of other members of my family and their plights to just get by. I thought of how hard my mom is struggling to care for her ailing parents and balance a job on top of that.

You see where all of this is going. Anyway, after about an hour of crappy thoughts, I began to think that I REALLY needed to stop thinking and fall asleep. It was raining. I opened my eyes and thought, I will just lay here and listen to the rain. At that exact moment THE RAIN STOPPED. Apparently God had other plans for me. So, I started trying to think of nice things. Redecorating my kitchen. Remodeling the bathroom. Redoing the hardwoods. The list goes on and on.

I finally fell asleep. When I woke up, I realized I was running slightly late for a job interview. Awesome! After a mad rush and a whores bath, I was out the door and headed to Knoxville. The interview went OK, so we'll see how that goes. Afterwards, I decided to go and visit my grandparents. Grandmother in the nursing home and granddad at home. After seeing grandmother, who has lost so much weight and is battling Alzheimer's, I was through. My grandfather would have to see me another day. (Which made me feel guilty, obviously.)

I started home under a grey sky and drizzling rain. I won't lie. My day was just shot. I decided to throw myself a pity party. I headed to Sonic and bought the most delicious, disgusting thing I could think of. Super Sonic Cheeseburger and tots. When I got home, I put on my favorite sweats and settled in for a marathon of NICS-which always drones out a crappy day and tore into that burger like Tom Hanks from Cast Away. Guess what?? Found a big ass hair in it. Pity Party complete! Tears rolling.

Sigh. Started my period yesterday too! Guess that means no baby this month.

I ended my day with a good phone call, and flushed my pity pot. Took some medicine and went to bed. Can I have a do over?

Five Finger Death Punch- Bad Company

4 comments:

Ashley said...

Even though you had a bad day I still find it amazing that you care so much for all the people in your life. Good luck on the baby making! Some people can just think about getting pregnant and BAM they're pregnant; then for others it takes a while. As soon as we quit trying I got pregnant with Wiley!! I hope you have a wonderful day, friend!

Ellis Island said...

Thank you so much! I do care, but sometimes it feels like a curse, rather than being amazing! Thanks so much for reading! And commen anytime!

amandaclairephotography said...

Don't stress too much over baby making. It's all God's timing and everything will fall into place as it should be! Just have fun - every other day from day 10-18!

Ellis Island said...

I love you Mandy!!! Thank you! And PS.. Love the new blog, too!

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