Sunday, March 18, 2012

things I thought today

After a very long day yesterday spent bedside with my grandfather at the hospital, I decided I needed some quiet time in the sun with God and a good book. So here's what I noticed while getting my vitamin D on.

  • My dogs are incredibly lazy. When they aren't being teased by the bore bees, they spend their time sprawled out like salamanders soaking in the rays of the sun.
  • Everything is so incredibly green right now. Our grass has already been mowed for the first time this year. Even the branches that are still bare are sprawling their limbs skyward with tiny little buds lifting their heads and smiling at the sun.
  • My flowers are shooting up. It seems that the trees and myself aren't the only ones enjoying the sunshine.
  • We never really had a true winter. Plenty of rain and dreary skies, but all of the parts of winter that are enjoyable seem to have gotten lost this year. No big snow, which means I never made snow angels and came in to drink hot chocolate or whisky. ; )
  • My grandfather told me about a week ago to enjoy everything as it is happening. To take it in. Find pleasure even in the things that are painful. Reflecting on those words, I tried to find pleasure in yesterdays events. I went over and over it in my mind. At last it came to me and I smiled. Though somewhat sedated, my grandfather raised his head. His eyes were weary and strained. Ever the strong man, he lifted his arm and reached out to me. When I took his hand he just smiled. He smiled that knowing smile of his and laid his head back down to rest. There is also something very comforting in the fact that he is ready to go. He doesn't feel like there is anything he didn't get to do...and that is incredibly uplifting. Even if I am not ready to let go of him.
  • After thinking about him and finding that positivity, I began to see so many wonderful things. The birds are back. They are flying and singing, chirping and gathering supplies for new nests. I must remember to get seed. We have beautiful cardinals and blue jays that enjoy our feeders each year.
  • The squirrels are chattering away and chasing each other from limb to limb. I suppose it is time to put corn cobs out for them as well.  
  • I am looking forward to planting new flowers outside. That always makes me feel good.
  • I'm incredibly lucky to have the friend and partner that I have. Mark was so instrumental yesterday in helping me keep my shit together...most of the time. He went to the store today and got supplies for buffalo shrimp, hooters style because I mentioned yesterday that it sounded good. He is always doing little things...and when you add them up, gosh...I can't think of anyone more kind and knowing of what it takes to be me. (And love me anyway.)
  • God is so Good. Even when there seems to be so much pain in the world, he puts someone in your path (or a couple of someones) who knows exactly what you need to hear, and how you need to hear it. I'm so grateful to HIM for THEM.
Thanks God for a beautiful day, and for opening my eyes to see it around me.

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