Maybe a better title would have been "STOP IT! That hurts like hell." Ha.
Mark and I "tested" a cold wax kit for work the other day. I've had my eyebrows waxed and various other parts of my body, but I've never been brave enough to get a bikini wax. (Feel free to start snickering and giggling at anytime.) SO. Ahem. We read the directions. Sounds simple enough. Anyway, I'm not the one who's going to be doing the waxing, because it's sort of hard to see if you are doing it right, if you know what I'm saying. Off we go....
The first strip he got the wax on, and we decided (probably too late) that we were going to have to heat the wax up, at least a little. It's just not spreading well and we are making a mess. At this point we are both laughing because, well, it IS funny. So, Mark heats the wax up and thankfully, he does not scald me. It's working way better and I'm lying there thinking, "this is going to be fine!"
I had to get worked up for him to rip the first one off. Deep breathing, distractions, the works........
Oh My GOD, you guys. Have you ever had this done? If you have, you are out of your fucking mind. (like me, I suppose.) OK, so after i calmed down enough to look down and see what I was hoping to be a completely bald spot, I had to ask "Is that BLOOD?" Yep. It was. So Mark's like, well, we've come this far, lets do some more. This time it took quite a bit longer to get psyched up.....
This time, I kicked him in the head. (Almost in the face.) And I screamed. I screamed so loud, he grabbed me and put my head into his shoulder where I then bit him. I'm not even joking. I could not help myself. At that point, I ran to the bathroom. (Why didn't we do this in there to begin with??? I have no idea.) I start running bath water. I want this shit off of me. NOW. Fortunately, the wax was water soluble and came right off. I immediately called Nancy and told her I would not be purchasing this product because obviously it was designed for use by masochists.
I ended up finishing the job the old fashioned way, and that's fine. 'Cause that shit HURT.
*Aretha Franklin- You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman