Thursday, January 8, 2009

Ah-Choo! at least I have some funnies while I'm sick.

I really need to preface this post with a picture of my beloved Fatty "Magoo". He doesn't look big here, but I assure you, he is. He has grown since I took this picture. He was 4 months then.

It has been a sneezy couple of days for me around the house. It started on Sunday and is still going strong. On Tuesday I had two appointments scheduled and I had to leave the room twice during the second one because I could not stop sneezing. What a relaxing way to get a massage! My poor client is so good hearted, she tried to force cold pills on me after the session. Bless her heart, if she only knew what sudafed does to my body! Anyway, that night when I came home, I wanted to finish up the office project I have been working on. (we painted the office.) Mark was working on it and asked me if I would go and get dinner for us and Jackson. Sure, Why not?

Somewhere in the haze of my sneezing, I decided to take Magoo (my 65 pound, 8 month old dog) with me. Why I did this, I have no idea, but the story gets really funny at this point. Off we go, to Taco Bell. Magoo is normally a very good, sweet natured dog. He insists on getting his paws up on the console and drooling onto my shoulders as we go along. Fine. It doesn't really matter now anyway because I am covered in sneeze dust and snot because he ate my tissue as soon as we got into the car. I arrive at Taco Bell in one piece and pull up to the window. The conversation went as follows:

Drive Thru Lady: "May I take your order?"

Me: "Yes. I'd like (insert lots of howling and a very strange look on the dogs face) a Grande (more howling) meal and a Mexican (growling) pizza."

DTL: "Excuse me?"

Me: (howling, Barking, whining) "Grande meal... (howl) and a Mexi- (howl) -can pizza. "

DTL: "A Grande Meal and a what?"

Me: "MEXICANPIZZA" (as fast as I can say it and then more howling.)

DTL: "Pull around." (her tone was slightly annoyed)

So I pull around. I guess Magoo was freaking out because there was someone talking to me, but no one was there? I don't know. When I get to the window, the aroma of beef, beans, cheese and sauce hits the mongrel's nose. He is now trying to climb over me and through the window. "Bad dog! Magoo! Get back!" When I finally get out of the drive thru, the entire staff is snickering at me through the window. Oh well, at least they got a laugh out of it.

Well, that's not the end of my story, right after leaving the drive thru, I need to pick up Cokes and water at the gas station. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to leave the Taco Smell in the car, so I decided I was going to lock it in the trunk. Well, the dog, sensing defeat, tried to DIG into my trunk while I was making my purchases. I could see him from inside the store wreaking havoc in my backseat. I come out. Rescue the food (and possibly my backseat) from the trunk. Magoo is so excited that the food was back in the car, crushing me with his hairy crazy ass, I did the only thing I could think of to do after he started mauling me, I beat him into submission with a two liter of Coke.

He was good until we got home. Then he chewed up my shoes. Just for spite, I do believe.


Brandi said...

Oh my!! Please don't take him back to Taco Bell!! well, Maybe he was a speakin' Mexican talk to em! ha

Your Crazy girl! Love ya! Funny Story! :-)

Ellis Island said...

I know, I think he may be scarred for life! Of course, I may be scarred for life as well, but that's a different story...

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